3ET: Abarenbou Rikishi Matsutarou

Our hero teaching the lesson: "Use your strength to force your classmates to help you cheat!"

Studio: Toei

Director: Kaizawa Yukio (Binbou Shimai Monogatari, Jigoku Sensei Nube)

Writer: Yamatoya Akatsuki (Gintama, Busou Renkin)

Main Cast:

Matsudaira Ken as Sakaguchi Matsutarou

Mizutani Yuuko as Minami Reiko

Character Design: KoizumiNoboru (One Piece)

Music: Yano Tatsumi (City Hunter)

Just from the look of Abarenbou Rikishi Matsutaro, I can tell it's an anachronism. Everything from the character design to the opening song looks like they found some people who hadn't made an anime in thirty years, pulled them out of storage, and told them to get to work. Now, that in and of itself is not a bad thing. For a show about a country boy learning to become a sumo wrestler in Showa Era Japan, it's even appropriate. The idea is a bit simplistic, but like most stories, it all comes down to the execution. The shoddy animation and old-timey voice acting could become charming instead of obnoxious. Just tell a good story, and the rest will take care of itself.

Now, the first thing that needs to happen for a sports show like Abarenbou Rikishi Matsutaro to work is that I need to root for the protagonist, the titular Sakaguchi Matsutaro. This proves to be impossible because of how Matsutaro is a complete asshole, and not a likeable one at that. He is giant of a middle school student who forces other students to help him cheat on tests. He acts abusive and violent his teacher, openly leers and harasses a female teacher he finds attractive, dumps water on a group of local women, and literally, I shit you not, steals candy from a baby. All of this is in the first ten minutes of the show. There is a word for a person like this, and that word is bully. Bullies make terrible main characters for being completely unsympathetic, at least until they get broken and realize what a piece of human excrement they truly are, and how they need to change.

Did I stammer? Did I stutter? I told you he takes candy from a baby.

The thing is, there are a couple of actual moments for Matsutaro to be broken over the course of the first few episodes. The first comes at the end of the first episode, when an unfunny joyride in a truck crashes into a women's bathhouse, causing him to be thrown in jail. However, nothing really comes of it, despite the damage that was done. Near the end of the second episode, while on a job hunt where he proves to be lazy and stubborn to complete his status as a waste of oxygen, he starts making fun of a sumo troupe passing through town. The sumo hear him, and he goads them into attacking him, which literally knocks him into the next episode. Instead of taking this blow to mean that he can't solve everything with his strength, something an intelligent show would do, he runs off to where the sumo are performing. Once there, he proceeds to beat the sumo who hit him multiple times with no training. There are no consequences for Matsutarou's assholish behavior, and I just can't deal with someone this awful not getting  his comeuppance. It makes for a show that is both unpleasant and unsatisfying to watch.

Obviously, Abarenbou Rikishi Matsutaro is a fail. And it's not even close. Not only do I hate the main character, I don't think it even knows what it is trying to be. Some of the scenes are shot in a way that suggests they're supposed to be funny. If that's the case, the cruel execution of the "jokes" and overreliance on toilet humor make it childish and stupid. Then there is the eventual romance between Matsutaro and the teacher (who is shown in the opening singing opposite Matsutaro). I wondder how long he is going to harass her before she finally submits to him. This is a show from another time, where men would sexually harass women and be horrible human beings. I know anime isn't the most progressive form of media, but it has come a way from this crap. Sadly, someone forgot to tell that to the people who made this show.