3ET: Seikoku no Dragonar

How to train your loli-dragon: feed her crepes.

Studio: C-Station

Director: Tada Shunsuke (Kuroko no Basuke, World Destruction)

Writer: Kimura Noboru (Haiyore! Nyaruko-san, Fantasista Doll)

Main Cast:

Takahashi Kouji as Ash Blake

Sakura Ayane as Silvia Lauteremont

Ise Mariya as Eco

Character Design: Sasaki Mutsumi

Music: Wakabayashi Takatsugu

What I wouldn't give for the premise of Seikoku no Dragonar to be actually what the show is about. The first few minutes introduce a school where students train their own personal dragons so they can ride them. And since there are few things cooler in a fantasy novel than riding a dragon, I was on board. The main character, Ash Blake, was shown to not have his own dragon, but could ride any other person's dragon. This makes him special, which he has to be, because obviously there is nothing interesting to be mined from normal life at a dragon training academy. And the drama of Ash trying to find his dragon could be good, even though it hasn't been revealed as to how people find their dragons. There are some other characters that we meet, like the best friend who is a total bro and the stuck up bitch of a princess. Everything seems to be setting up for a possibly decent fantasy show, and then it all goes to shit.

The moment that it goes to shit comes when Ash finds his dragon. Now, when I think of a dragon, I think of majestic beasts the size of a semi-truck that breathe fire. And that's what I see in the first episode of Dragonar. So, when a naked pink-haired child pops out of an egg, I felt my eye twitch in annoyance. And when she started talking in the obnoxious, haughty voice and said "I'm your master", I wanted to throw my tablet across the room in frustration. And when she started getting displayed naked everywhere, cringed. And when she would wear clothes, and she got tentacles probing her, complete with the panty shot with her in distress, I wanted to drink to forget.

"Oh, a naked little girl. I'm sure nothing gross will happen to her."

On top of being about turning a little girl-dragon into a sexual object, Dragonar is not really about the dragons. Oh sure, they are there and there is even a big battle against a giant zombie dragon in the third episode. But, it is quickly turning into a harem show. Little girl-dragon is the emotionally dishonest one, princess is the bitch, princess' maid is the maid, the busty student council president is the sexy one, and the best friend is shoved off to the side because two dudes is too many for a show like this to concentrate on. I've seen these types of pseudo-harem shows before, and nothing about this one is anything new aside from the fantasy setting providing a different shade of paint.

So, instead of an interesting show about dragons and a guy trying to figure out where he fits in without his own personal dragon, I got Seikoku no Dragonar. It's a show more focused on boobs of all sizes than it is on the dragons themselves. And I can say that because of where the camera is placed and how often the unnatural anime boob jiggle is shown. Here's a hint: it's a lot. If it had stuck with its original premise, it would have had a chance, but instead, Dragonar fails for doing something that we have all seen before, and likely will see again.